Word-splay at the Beach

Today’s blog features Rachael Harrie’s Third Campaigner Challenge: Show Not Tell,
Here are the rules:
Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
  • that it’s morning,
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.

Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: “synbatec,” “wastopaneer,” and “tacise.”   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

There a list of how you should know if I’m showing or telling here.
This time I’m going down in style, shooting for the bottom of the pile.
Without further delay, here’s my 300 word splay.

Word-splay at the Beach
I watch my hubby wave his medal defector around like a grazed one-armed mobster, I meen lobster.  Wite sand krunching underfoot, I walk the wader’s edge. My foot prince wash away with each wav. I’m searching for see shels. I rely love the shiny once.
Chubby is never symbatec to my please for a brake when I’m tried, so I look for my beech towl. There it is, tire where I felt it.  It’s sew good to tis and reelaxe. 
I pick up my book. Wen I bod it, I thawed it was an exposay about that bakree, “Wastopaneer.” I sound it out. “Was Top an Ear?” What kind of tidal is that?  Nard lidxesia. I try rearanging the letterz. “Sweat a Prone?” No, “We Stop an Era.” Grate. A histry book.
I no Ill get broad, I mean board. My bitter haf sez I’m not fat, except in the hedd. I don’t reed or spiel well ether. Can I help it if the tellers swim aground on every gape? When I rite this storee latter, spiel chick will fix motes of it. Two bad I’m collar blind, sew a few mite lips bye. 
Now the see brees kisses me, but ewe. What’s that smel behind me? I tern arownd. Theirs a big gob of blak in the sand. Oil lips! No dickslessia this thyme.
“Chubby!” I shreek. 
I heer him splashing neerer until the sand vribates with his footpests. Thump, humpt. Now at my side, he retches down to poke the lips with a long stik. It slips between, doun and ound. “What the fluke?” he shouts as the lips open wide and wallsow him hole. Than they smak and brup. Peuuw!
I no wear all the turrists went. No wunder the tohels and tacise are empty this mourning.
If you read this far and understood, either your brain is good at unscrambling, you’re dyslexic, or you’re a teacher used to correcting terrible spellers or maybe you are one. If you also got the puns and think this bad spell of mine worthy of a thumb’s up, please click here to go to the list and vote for number 20.

I thought you might enjoy seeing these gooey little oil spill goobers that inspired my story. 

By the way, my chocolate follower contest is open with new winners chosen every month. There’s a tab at the top of my blog. My 100 follower book giveaway is open until October 31st. Both have gift card options for international entries.

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Indie author-friendly freelance editor, children's book blogger for picture books through YA, kid lit, SF/fantasy lover with special fondness for middle grade, pun-loving SCBWI member, meter-maid for poetry and rhyming picture books.


  1. Wow that was confusing but somehow I made it through! I really liked it! I guess my brain is just good at unscrambling!

    (I’m entry #5)

  2. My brain hurts! 🙂
    But this is fabulous and definitely deserves a vote!
    Mine is #25.

  3. that was funnt =)
    mustve aken a while to write!

  4. Thanks! I wundered if those nonsense words might blend in bedur if written by a cixelsyd and a terubul speler. And it did kate a wile with wird auto-correcting and me unkorekteeng. But we all got emos grate brane ezisrexe!

  5. Ur chubby muzt b a site 2 c hat ta beech b hut iz heat hamsome? Soffet kan b ghoot 2 U No!

  6. Wow – that is awesome!! Challenging, but loved it!

  7. LOL. What a great way to go about this. I love something different and something that makes me think! Very fun! Got my vote 🙂

  8. Although my brain hurts, I think I got it…
    Love this take – you made me laugh. Way to tackle it!

  9. You challenged us, Sher! Great job! 🙂

  10. whew! I made it all the way through! Very creative.

  11. Wow, good job, one of my daughters is dyslexic, so maybe that helped me! Lol! Loved it! ; )

  12. Haha! You definitely get a vote from me!

  13. I was throughly confused at first about why the spelling was all wrong. But now I get it. I’m dyslexic so I could read it and it was kind of weird that I could.

    Your story was very different. Great job.

  14. That is so cool that a real dyslexic could read this. As for everyone else you’ll have some clue what it might be like. I might not have had the idea if one of my sons hadn’t had such trouble with spelling as a youngster. The Percy Jackson series influenced me too.

  15. What a fun & original idea! A smart and brave move!
    (Mine is no.#47)

  16. Ha ha, I am dyslexic! What the fluke indeed! Mine is #56

  17. I could not stop smiling while reading this. “What the fluke?” Hehe. Such a unique entry.

  18. How did you know I’m slightly dyslexic? That was fun. It wasn’t too hard to get through, for me, anyway. Thanks for the brain tease! 🙂

  19. I’m a terrible speller, but I never thought about misspelling everything 🙂 Super clever! Isn’t it amazing we can all tell what you wrote!

  20. I guess my brain is good at unscrambling (or I’m an undiagnosed dyslexic). That was a challenge to get through, but a great way to incorporate the nonsense words.

  21. that was gr8. like reeding awl the vanuti liescents playtes in holywould.

    gud jobe!!

  22. Very clever. My mind had to shift, but once it did, I enjoyed this!

  23. Wow! I started reading this, stopped and started again. I really enjoyed it. Great job.

  24. I made it through and enjoyed it. 🙂 Off to vote….

  25. What the fluke! Loved your entry, Sher! I didn’t have too hard a time following. I’m #65:)

  26. This is so clever. You have my vote!

  27. That wuz the most eggselent awesomeness I have red. Won ov my pot 5!

  28. Very clever, liked it.

    mood (now following)
    Moody Writing

  29. That was fun writing. Thanks for sharing with us!

  30. Oh man you’re keeeling me! That was awesome. I felt like I had a head cold while I was reading it though. Good job!

  31. At first, I was thinking..WHOA. You definitely win the award for most unique post I’ve read. Great job.

  32. The idea of people thinking I was illiterate made me hesitate at first. Then I figured if Mother Goose mixed with Hemingway for the first challenge and Back to the Future mixed with The Fly didn’t do it for the second, it was time to pull out all the stops. So maybe they’ll give me a unique freak award, LOL.

  33. This was so creative; I loved it!

    –>And I’m kicking myself for not doing something similar. *writing jealousy*

  34. Sher — No I’m not dyslexic, but I did understand the story. Really, it is a brilliant idea. Hope you place. And, yes, it gave my brain a very good work out for the day!


  35. Loved the way you tackled this challenge! Vote!

  36. Fun! Definitely a challenge to read but once I got into it I did fine. 🙂

  37. Oh I read this a while ago – seriously hurt my poor brain cells, lol, but very clever. Well done.

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