It feels so great to go from 6 followers to over 100 in the month since I joined Rachael Harrie’s Platform Building Campaign, I’m querulous. No, wait. I am not complaining or peevish about all my fabulous followers. I rejoice100% over you. It’s querying that makes me querulous. Don’t we all complain and grumble about having to query, about writing queries, about editing queries, about deciding where to send them, about waiting for the replies, and about the rejections? Doesn’t the whole query process stink?
Queries make a huge argument in favor of self-publishing. But I don’t want to spend all my time self-marketing. So I promised myself that when I reached 100 blog followers, I would start querying again. Before the campaign, I sent 6 and received 4 rejections within hours. One I got the next day, and the last I never heard back from. I wondered if it was because they all laughed their heads off at my measly following more than my book concept or lack of previous publication. I had such trepidation I decided to post my query on my blog for public criticism. So step right up, folks! Come one, come all. Critique my query to your heart’s content to win a manuscript or query and synopsis critique from me (explanation after the query). I want to get mine polished for the main event. Are you ready? Curtains open:
Dear Agent (yes, I know the real name goes here),
My first novel is a complete 50000 word SF middle grade adventure. In ERTH WON, Boy Scouts fight to save Erth One’s Heartland from total heartbreak—death for a sentient planet.
Boy Scout Morgan Earhart is desperate to stop the jocks from bullying him when he finds a distress message from the first earth trying to recruit him as an Erth Scout. Erth One claims Morgan’s talent for rhyme gives him the ability to control powerful crystals which can heal its poisoned Heart Well by rearranging matter. Yet Morgan loses all control before he can choose between his recreation, a race against the bullies, and a world’s re-creation. His alter-ego takes over and the bullies attack.
Morgan’s near death leads him through the Nulland Void to Erth One. There his jealous alter-ego, MT, uses adverse to turn him into a two-faced monster. Both must fight vengeful just desserts and rescue friends from addictive towbackhoes to reach the poisoned well.But once MT splits their whole body apart, Morgan may have to abandon his new girlfriend to fight the weave-ill in Green Witch Village. Worse, he realizes only taking back everything he hates about himself can prevent his dying a double death, both body and spirit, along with the planet.
I am an active member of Emerald Coast Writers (ECW) and SCBWI. My short story, The Good Hare Day, took first place in ECW’s last contest. My scientific BS, Boy Scout leader, military and teaching experience help me with world building and marketing. Although I polished ERTH WON as a standalone, both seventh grade classes I used as my last critique group submitted anonymous written reviews stating a 94% desire for more books in the potential series.
Since ERTH TOO is half finished and I have one complete picture book text and a YA paranormal in progress, I am looking for a career manager. I accept advice with sincere gratitude. Thank you for reading this multiple submission. I hope you didn’t consider it punishment.
Sher A. Hart
Added note: Leave your comment below for an entry in my 100 follower critique contest to include:
1. your email address in case you win
2. helpful criticism/comment. Each idea earns you an extra entry. They do not have to be in separate comments, just separate subjects/idea of things I can do to improve the query. Limit 10 entries for the random drawing. Impress me enough and you could be the most helpful critique winner.
What you can win:
1. 10 pages (times roman, double space, 12 font) manuscript critique or
2. One page query critique and 2 page single space synopsis critique.
The contest ends on 10/15, midnight, US central time. Don’t forget to leave your email address along with your comments.